THE LATE REPORT

There was quality, but not consistency. There were goals, but some of them were flukes. There was tension, but a fair bit of it was internal squabbling amongst the greens.

The colours had a tasty midfield, but resorted to long, long, long … into the box for young Joe to throw his head at. It was effective, but would you pay to watch it? The greens had plenty of age and guile, but hoofed the ball every which way.

There were culprits and there were saviours. Billy and Shaushaaughggghhhenn were slapping the ball all over the show. Guy and Rich were picking up the pieces.

It was a game of spells, but alas they weren’t the magical kind. Guy reckoned the bibs were unlucky, and Darren confessed to missing a hatful. Tony decided he's was Ian Dowey, then reverted to being Kevin Bond. Well, let's be fair: Tony Adams.

Geir gave his usual performance of composure and effectiveness. Sam continued to impress with strength and neat passing in midfield. Chibb turned in an unexpected turn at the back. Rich was getting up and down the field, trying to spark the greens into something that gelled.

Then there was Joe Z. Does anyone know what tablets he’s been taking? Talk about Transformer Man! He’s up and down, his foot’s in there winning tackles that matter, he’s going past players with ease, he delivering balls that count, and he’s getting into the D with menace. Rumour has it he’s opening a Soccer School, and I’ll be the first to sign up. Most Improved Payer doesn’t do justice to his new presence on the astro turf.

The greens did manage to stay in the game, despite the strength and pace of the shirts. Until, that is, Derby Tim magically flew up to the other end of the field and the bibs leaked four quick and sloppy goals. To their credit, the old lags dragged themselves back into contention. Tim was carrying an injury, so it was a quick re-shaping job.

At last, the game was a match, and it was now that the shirts started to hoist the ball into the D. Everyone was scrapping for every ball and the scoreline was tight. The shirts deservedly held out, winning by one.

And Taha still hasn’t passed the ball.