The Passion Fruit Diary

After a long day sipping Mammoth Blood beverages, eating grilled Sabre-Tooth Tiger burgers and inventing the wheel Billy's great, great, great, great, great grandfather realised that he'd worked up a musk that was beyond the tolerable threshold of even ancient female olfactory senses. Being of above average IQ for that era of humanity he understood that malodourous advances made towards Mrs. Billy Stoneage would likely end up with him in the spare cave having a wank instead of indulging in the ungabunga sex marathon he deserved.

From this dilemma male grooming was born. In his immediate vicinity several passion fruits were crushed, converted into a paste, filtered through Cheetah fur and stored in polar bear scrotums. Locating a water source Billy Stoneage applied his fragrance enhancer and washed away his toil-derived stench. Obviously the invention was a success as evidenced by Billy's existance today and the family tradition continues to the present day.

Those practicing personal hygiene after football will be aware of this wonderous tale as Billy shares his modern day passion fruit shower gel with those in need of treatment. Surprisingly, with this inaugural installment of the Passion Fruit Diary I must, with heavy heart, inform the readers that Billy has departed from tradtition and embarked on Grapefruit shower gel. I am hopeful that this malaise of choice with be self-resolving and Billy will return to the winning formula.

Enough on the aetiology of the title; what the feck is it all about? Well, the great sages of football, Billy and Guy, discuss the major points of each game while taking mutli-vitamins and smearing themselves in fruity smelling loveliness. The younger amongst us, including myself, add our own amateur insights. This shower talk is informative and humourous and so some little snipits are worthy of posting. There has also been a paucity of blogs recently and this is an opportunity to redress some of the absent praise of previous games.

The most important thing about the games that went without blogs were that they weren't that enjoyable for this blogster. I couldn't do anything right. I've tried to banish them from my memory but some people were at there heroic best.

Shower talk revealed that Chibb had enquired with individuals, incluing myself, separately to ask about the absent blogs. Admittedly, it must have been disappointing after his magnificent footballing prowess on Friday last that he didn't get his peer-derived admiration and write-up. Well, Chibb, many of the greatest heroes go unsung but we'll have your legendary performance posted on the internet for all the world to read. I apologise that it is too late for the FIFA World Player of the Year Awards!

Simply put Chibb outpaced the defense to score a handful of goals and not only that he was displaying wonderous skills and energy. He was tireless even to the last move of the game where he resplendently kept in the ball with a concomitant turn on the line and then, if I remember right, passed for a goal. Always a major contributor to any team that he's on, Chibb was scintillating in that game eclipsing the magnificence of Guy, Geir and the other Galacticos that always vie for Man of the Match. Post-match praise was unanimous for the display and hopefully Chibb can continue to treat us with such displays.

The other major discussion of shower talk was whether or not Davidoff Cool Water was good or bad. I backed up Stefan by pointing out that despite it not being the best smelling aftershave from the male perspective, it is a fanny magnet fragrance almost on a parr with passion fruit!