Like a naked George Clooney covered only in Lynx deodorant and happening upon a secret, ladies only, nudist sex addicts meeting, I enjoyed myself on wednesday night. This, of course, is apt redemption for the experience I suffered and detailed in the last blog. Unlike the limp dick inducing play of that dark soccer experience, I instead felt a regular pulsating passion in my soccer shorts. Indeed, post-match chemical analysis of my underpants revealed that 10% of the saturating solution that my undergarments had imbibed were not of the normal spectrum of male sweaty juices. Further investigation revealed that beyond the standard fractions of male gorgeousness pheromones, unga-bunga musk, Irish charm aromatic oils and soccer skills ooze, I had a 10% fraction of future Sexton generations swimming aimlessly upon the fabric.
Having made obvious my amorous enjoyment of the game, what details can I furnish you with. Well let's have go at naming the teams. I was on the Greens which had the added benefit of an extra layer of fabric to fend off the autumnal chill. At the back we had the type of defence that has not graced the planet since the battle of Thermophyllae. Marshalling the forces was Paul 'Leonidas' Densley. His fellow Spartans were Lee 'bloody knees' Shepstone and Matt 'silky skills' Jefferson. Tayo, who has been in sparkling defensive form, was always present at the back but with such an imperious display from his commrades he was gifted the opportunity to raom up the left and attack the goal. Some of the runs were breathtakingly assured and he combined with Fraser who occupied the front left position with great flare and productivity. So numerous were the chances to score that the fecundity of our play could have been more impressive than that betrayed by the final score. To save our blushes we had the soccernight supremo, Rich 'Sure shot' Stubbs to cooly amass our goal tally. On one impressive finish he chased a pass to just left of the goal. Getting to the ball ahead of a closing defender he merely stopped the ball and stood perfectly still awaiting momentum to take the defender past him. With another defender fast approaching as extra cover Rich treated the acute angle for the shot with contempt and bitch slapped the back of the net with ball. A personal victory for me was a sequence of passes between myself and Rich up the right side to fabricate a lovely goal. This flew in the face of my strong conviction that I can't pass to Rich. At this point I have to ask forgiveness as I cannot recall the name of the other crucial member of the Greens....don't hate me!
A great game always requires two great teams and the glory of the Green's defensive magnificence was only manifest in light of the resplendent offensive onslaught. Guy was a tornado of talent in the midfield. He weaved at will with the energetic Bill circling tirelessly, constantly providing options. Geir too applied his creative genius to undo the Green barrier. A shortfall for the colours was an injured Dan who was admittedly not as prolific as he usually is. Against our formidable defence the colours needed all players at 100%. Jarvis got the colours into scoring form with some well won headers and a glorious Zola-like flick.
Since my beer is now finished my blog cogs are seizing up. I'm now off to get a jack hammer from the shed to attack the sexy-soccer lust juice that has encrusted, nay concreted itself to, the fabric of my tackle satchel.
Having made obvious my amorous enjoyment of the game, what details can I furnish you with. Well let's have go at naming the teams. I was on the Greens which had the added benefit of an extra layer of fabric to fend off the autumnal chill. At the back we had the type of defence that has not graced the planet since the battle of Thermophyllae. Marshalling the forces was Paul 'Leonidas' Densley. His fellow Spartans were Lee 'bloody knees' Shepstone and Matt 'silky skills' Jefferson. Tayo, who has been in sparkling defensive form, was always present at the back but with such an imperious display from his commrades he was gifted the opportunity to raom up the left and attack the goal. Some of the runs were breathtakingly assured and he combined with Fraser who occupied the front left position with great flare and productivity. So numerous were the chances to score that the fecundity of our play could have been more impressive than that betrayed by the final score. To save our blushes we had the soccernight supremo, Rich 'Sure shot' Stubbs to cooly amass our goal tally. On one impressive finish he chased a pass to just left of the goal. Getting to the ball ahead of a closing defender he merely stopped the ball and stood perfectly still awaiting momentum to take the defender past him. With another defender fast approaching as extra cover Rich treated the acute angle for the shot with contempt and bitch slapped the back of the net with ball. A personal victory for me was a sequence of passes between myself and Rich up the right side to fabricate a lovely goal. This flew in the face of my strong conviction that I can't pass to Rich. At this point I have to ask forgiveness as I cannot recall the name of the other crucial member of the Greens....don't hate me!
A great game always requires two great teams and the glory of the Green's defensive magnificence was only manifest in light of the resplendent offensive onslaught. Guy was a tornado of talent in the midfield. He weaved at will with the energetic Bill circling tirelessly, constantly providing options. Geir too applied his creative genius to undo the Green barrier. A shortfall for the colours was an injured Dan who was admittedly not as prolific as he usually is. Against our formidable defence the colours needed all players at 100%. Jarvis got the colours into scoring form with some well won headers and a glorious Zola-like flick.
Since my beer is now finished my blog cogs are seizing up. I'm now off to get a jack hammer from the shed to attack the sexy-soccer lust juice that has encrusted, nay concreted itself to, the fabric of my tackle satchel.
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